Arguing about the phone: how to calm things down
Paul Kasten, co-founder of TaskBlue · Updated · 4 min read
Arguments about the phone get rarer when the rules are settled before things get tense, not negotiated in the middle of a game. Sit down together at a calm moment, agree when distracting apps are off limits, and let the technology enforce those times. Then you don't have to be the bad guy every evening.
Why it blows up so often
Many apps are built so there is always one more video and one more round. When you then say "That's enough now", you interrupt your child in the middle of something exciting. No wonder they push back. It has little to do with a lack of willpower.
Rules beforehand, not in the moment
The fight almost always starts in the moment. That is why it helps to settle the rules beforehand, when nobody is glued to a phone. What applies during homework? At meals? When does it end in the evening? Whatever you agree on, you can write down in a family media agreement.
What changes the tone
A few things tend to make a big difference:
- Let your child have a say in which apps stay away at which times.
- Give a heads-up before time is up, ten minutes ahead for example.
- Stick to the agreed consequences, without a lecture and without new punishments.
- Follow the rules yourself, at meals for example.
- Praise what works instead of only noticing what goes wrong.
Technology as the neutral party
When the apps disappear on their own at the agreed time, there is nothing left to negotiate. With TaskBlue that happens on a weekly schedule or at places like school. Focus only ends early with the BlueTag, which stays with you, or with your parent PIN. And because every focus hour removes about 100 g of plastic from the sea, your child has something to be proud of. More in blocking apps without a fight.
Frequently asked
Should I take the phone away as a punishment?
That often only works briefly and makes the phone seem even more important. Consequences you agreed on beforehand and that fit the rule usually work better.
What if my child says everyone else is allowed more?
Talk to other parents in the class. There are often more families with similar rules than the kids let on. Agreeing on things together takes a lot of pressure off.
Read on
Fewer distractions for your child. Less plastic in the sea.
A year costs €49.99 once, a month €9.99. The BlueTag comes with both plans.